Monday, April 23, 2012

After Prom

Aside for much NOT needed drama this weekend, it was pretty amazing. 
I did have to see my father, and stepmother. But that is a story for ANOTHER day. And a long one. A bunch of memories that I don't want to think about again tonight. But anyways, prom was fun. We all looked amazing! I saw so many friends, and danced with so many people. Even an old crush(; And saw my best friends. I will be going back very soon to have an amazing weekend again, I hope. And hopefully without the drama. I am now ready to go in the hospital.

Within the week I will probably go in, so I'll see. But I really should try and sleep, since I haven't been the last few days really. I will be calling my doctors soon, and seeing my best friends soon too I hope. So ready for graduation! And made a few good friends this weekend. And saw my baby sister the first time. It was, pretty nice. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012


Tomorrow I will be driving 4 HOURS to prom, and having the time of my life!! I get to see all my friends, and my baby sister for the first time. I am nervous, but I can't wait! It's PROM! But, I know as soon as I get home what will be waiting for me. 

I'm in the process of packing a million, bajillion , medications. And Bactrum, an antibiotic I am on. This antibiotic works wonders for like..4 days. If it's combined with IV , it works. But it doesn't seem to work by itself. So when I get back..hospitalization ...for me. I am just excited all over. I can look for another job, besides my babysitting. Get school back on track, GRADUATE, and get a pass to the rec center to start working out and swimming. Excited? YES! I am worried about school, 38 absences in one class. My last class on A days. I am alllwayys sick by then. It's after my cooking class...maybe that doesn't help? But I want to be a chef, so that would suck. And being hospitalized almost every month this's crazy. I'm just ...excited. A baseball game, fireworks, PROMM, Ruby Tuesday with the best friend, sleepover!! And driving with a radio probably going to get lost a few times, but no biggie I don't think.(and yes, I have GPS on my phone...) I haven't been this excited in a while, I'm just praying to God that it all works out. He's been good to me always, so I can't wait to see what He has in store for me this weekend!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Missing Prom

I'm sick. Really sick right now. I'm feeling better the last two day, but truthfully I should have been hospitalized a few days ago. Except, prom is in a few days. I am driving four hours away to see all my friends one last time. I almost missed it. I was going to tell the docs that either I need to be out by this Thursday, or just wait. They called an antibiotic in, and I'll probably be hospitalized after prom. I've missed so many dances and events at school because I was hospitalized. 

I'm debating college right now. Do I really want to risk paying more because I get sick and restart a class? I want to go to college, I'd be the first in my family to go right out of high school. My parents went in their 40s. So, Idk. I guess I'll see what happens. I thought about just starting in a bakery, maybe I'll do that. But I think college would  be a smart option. But I can't wait for prom this weekend. 

How did I spend my last spring break in high school? SICK. Coughing up green crap , barley breathing , worrying about making it to prom. Awesome, huh? If you get a vacation, you get sick It's something that happens to us all. If you aren't , you are lucky. Time to do some more medications....

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Not sleeping.

I'm up , late, again. It's not really surprising at all. I don't sleep well. Apparently it IS a CF thing, but I had a sleep study done. The technician said that she did  a study on CFers and sleep. A lot of us don't sleep for absolutely no reason. We just don't sleep. How does it work for school? It doesn't , at all. I hate falling asleep in class. It could be medications, it could be something more serious. 

To do this sleep study, I was hooked up to more wires then I could count, a night camera that could see me close my eyes from halfway across the room on the ceiling, and a listening device that could hear me grind my teeth from across the room next to the camera. They put those sticky pads all over you, and you can't move without knocking or unplugging something. I do NOT  want to even dream about what would have happened if I had to pee...thankfully I didn't. Then , they put something over my face so that I wouldn't knock out the wires in my hair, a tube in my nose, and told me to SLEEP. Yeah...sleep? 

Thankfully I hadn't slept in days, so I passes out. But every time I rolled over I woke up, the door opened I woke up, or anything...I woke up. So crappy night of sleep. Then I was woken up at 5am to be unhooked and kicked  out. It was one AMAZING night...(did you catch the sarcasm?) 

I'm up a lot, and I always look like I haven't slept. I function ok usually, but I'm tired all the time. I'm easily distracted and fall asleep so easily in the day. But lets try to sleep again, goodnight.