Sunday, April 28, 2013


When someone you love dies, there is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to help you. Except one thing, leave you alone. Which sounds weird, but I think it's true. You have to grieve and you have to do it in your own way. And one thing to NOT say, is "I know how you feel." Don't say that. At all. Ever. It doesn't help. All it does it say 'yeah, I've had this happen. you should say I'm sorry. And not make this all about you. I had someone die too. ' At least that's what it says to me. You won't EVER know how they feel. I was always told that every love is different. So if you had a dog die, and someone's husband dies, it's not the same. If your sister died, and someone's dad died, it's not the same thing. Even if your husband died, and someone else's husband dies, it's still not helping. Unless you jump in their brain, and turn the switch off, you're not helping. And you just have to realize that.

Don't even say that you're sorry. Because what did you do? Did you kill them? Because if you did, run. Don't stand there. Otherwise, you did nothing wrong. There isn't anything to be sorry about. And the other person probably doesn't know what to say, if they even feel like talking.

I met this guy with the same disease as mine. Within a month, he was like my best friend. We talked all the time, laughed with each other, and loved watching Ellen. When we were sick, we talked about how tired of it we were. In ONE month. I loved that boy, he was one of my best friends. Then one day when I woke up to say hi, and he was gone. Just like that. In a few hours, he was dead. For weeks I cry. I STILL cry almost a year later when I think about him. Which is a lot. Everyone told me they were sorry, and I didn't feel like replying. I wanted to just cry all day. And the one's who texted me, I don't think I replied to most of em. My boyfriend helped me a lot. He sent me quotes that really helped me, he knows I love quotes. And he gave me the space I needed, but he let me knew he was there. I just needed to grieve. I drowned myself into my music for weeks. And after awhile, I lived. Which was the most I could do for him. I knew he wouldn't want me to be sad.

I had a dog die a few months ago. I miss him so much. And it was so different. The feelings .Yes , they both died, but the connections with both were so different.

So when someone dies, don't do something stupid. Or say anything stupid. Just let them grieve. Let them know you're there to listen , but they do need their space.

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